Governor Oops

Rick Perry

Congratulations, Governor Perry! I lost count of the number of times your lawyers tried to have those felony charges dismissed by the trial judge — but the appeals court finally came through. Here’s something odd: the Republican judges could have ponied up a get out of jail free card — but they did’t.

When the court voided the coercion charge on Friday, a potential ten years sentence went with it. But let’s be clear, your lead attorney can say to the press (and they dutifully reported) that the remaining abuse of official capacity charge is “just a misdemeanor,” but it’s not — it’s a felony, carrying a maximum sentence of 99 years in prison Good luck with that.

I’m not big into filing criminal charges for things politicians typically do to leverage power — but striking money from the state budget for those responsible for investigating political malfeasance? That’s just never going to play well for the cameras, gov. And it’s that part of the story has has the Republican judges running for cover.

Yes, District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg probably should have resigned. Not because she was caught driving drunk, though — to me the more egregious violation of the public trust was threatening the arresting officers. But even that isn’t what this is about.

You mooks have had it in for the Travis County DA’s office since they strung up former Congressman Tom DeLay for violating election law back in 2005. It seems Republicans are all about accountability, unless it’s a Republican that’s been called on the carpet.

What’s inconceivable to me, is that you’ve already spent $2 million on the best legal defense money can buy — while running a presidential campaign that can’t raise half that amount. I gotta say, Rick — your judgement here is, as usual, a bit suspect. Just don’t take a page out of Michele Bachmann’s playbook — unless you want the feebs looking at you sideways, too.

From the looks of things, you’re going to take a page from former House Speaker Delay’s, instead. As I recall, all the legal foot-dragging finally paid off for him in the end — and he got his conviction overturned. I’m sure you’ll wind up wasting millions of Texan’s tax dollars fighting this off.

Too bad you’ve only got a seat at the children’s table for the primary debates. The real money’s over on the main stage, if you’re going to have any hope at all of making up the shortfall in that legal defense fund.


Stop, or the GOP Will Shoot

Uncle Sam


I have one hard and fast rule: if you have to lie to “win” an argument — you’ve already lost. Which is why I was glad to learn that the Senate voted down legislation designed to defund Planned Parenthood, based on bold-faced lies.

Nobody is “selling baby parts,” conservatives — just like every other major medical facility in the country, Planned Parenthood works with medical researchers who are searching for a cure to diseases like Parkinson’s, or Alzheimer’s.

Fun fact: The 1954 Nobel Prize in medicine was awarded to doctors Frederick C. Robbins, John Enders and Thomas Weller for their work with fetal tissue which led to the development of a vaccine against polio.

Sadly, Republicans learned a valuable lesson from James O’Keefe — if you tell only part of the story, you can cause irreparable harm to your political enemies. See, it didn’t matter if O’Keefe was later exposed for his deceptive video editing (or that he pleaded guilty in another case of a “sting” gone wrong) — lying works. Continue reading

Ku Klux Krazy

Klan Klash in South Carolina

“We will delete your history in America.” So says a passionate defender of the confederate battle flag in South Carolina, where thousands of protestors showed up today to shout down the Ku Klux Klan rally on the steps of the state capitol. No, violent, heavily tattooed and misinformed muttonhead — we’re not trying to “delete your history,” we’d just like you to understand it.

“The Confederate flag does not represent hate. A lot of Americans died for that flag.“ No, no, no — Ku Klux Kook — they most certainly were NOT Americans — at least at the time. They had abdicated the right to call themselves that as soon as they seceded from the United States. Yes, “Americans” died rallying around that flag — Confederate Americans.

We could talk for weeks on end about who it was that actually fought and died in the Civil War — that most of the conscripted troops weren’t even slave owners — or that just like most every other war in the history of mankind, this was just another case of poor men going off to bleed and die, trying to protect or acquire something rich men wanted. In this case: to own other human beings as property. State’s rights my Aunt Fanny. Continue reading

Chris Christie is Stoned

Chris Christie

Governor Chris Christie, the former prosecutor, sent a message to the Centennial State yesterday: “If you’re getting high in Colorado today, enjoy it.” Whoa, thanks man. Far out.

Before everyone getting high in the Mile High city gets the wrong idea, Christie went on to say: “As of January 2017, I will enforce the federal laws.” Except, of course, he’ll never be POTUS — so have another toke.

Christie is famous for his persecution (and prosecution) of pot smokers — and has bent over backwards to justify his position: “Other states that have gone down the path of that experiment — mostly in pursuit of tax riches — have shown unless the federal government changes their mind on this, that it becomes a cash business.” Um, thanks for supporting their argument? I don’t get it. Continue reading

Nobody Should Be President For Life

Welcome to every right-wing conspiracy theorist’s favorite pastime: out of context theater. Buy your tickets now, load up the lie cannons and send in the memes, because “Obama Says ‘I Could Win’ 3rd Term as President!” Boom. And just like that, lazy lunkheads across the Internet start polishing their turds — warning ‘this was a Freudian slip,’ ‘martial law is coming’ as soon as he gets back from his mother country.

Except, of course, that headline ran in the New York Times this morning. The lazy lunkhead in the copy editor’s chair evidently thought leading with some out-of-context quote would intrigue readers (and sell papers), failing to acknowledge what everyone already knows: 90% of Americans ONLY read the headlines.  Continue reading

Pandering Paul and the GOP under attack

Rand Paul Panders


Evidently Rand’s campaign staff are even more delusional than the Kentucky hopeful — because I just read “Dr.” Senator Paul “is the single biggest threat to Hillary Clinton’s candidacy.” That’s Rand’s communications director reacting to the “news” that the Democratic National Committee “has unleashed relentless attacks on a handful of GOP candidates.” <facepalm> No, no, no … getting mentioned by the DNC for saying something stupid is not a metric for viability as a national candidate. It’s a metric for how often they stick their foot in their mouth. Continue reading

25 Rules of Disinformation



I was going to do a quick repost the 25 rules of disinformation today — but decided it might be more useful with a fresh perspective. Why should House Select Committee on BENGHAZI! Chairman Gowdy have all the fun (trashing reputations with unfounded accusations and innuendo?).

Hey — ask yourself this: if the BILLIONS B.P. was just fined for polluting the Gulf was supposed to be a penalty — why did their stock just tick up five points? They’re celebrating, y’all.

The more you understand HOW these rules of disinformation are employed on a daily basis — the less likely you are to REACT when your idiot brother-in-law starts spouting off discredited or false information. RECOGNIZE that good people are often given bad information. Ignorance isn’t fatal (although often contagious). There’s a cure, too — it’s called education. Continue reading

Socialism is not Fascism is not Communism

Socialism is not Fascism is not Communism


Namaste, Piyush. Like your presidential aspirations, Governor Jindal, this should be short and sweet. At least the portion of you actually being POTUS.

I know you’re keenly aware of why Republicans bandy about the word “socialist” to confuse voters — but it’s an intellectually dishonest parlor trick. Considering the number of times you said “socialist” or “socialism” during the Hugh Hewitt radio interview yesterday — clearly your only hope lies in keeping every conservative voter ignorant of a few facts. Let’s give them a primer, shall we?

When you say “socialist,” “Bobby,” you’re quick to tie it directly to other words, like “government dependence” or “social welfare.” When other folks around the world use the word socialism, we’re quick to tie it to things which improve people’s lives — like infrastructure, energy, healthcare and education. See the difference? Of course you don’t — when you say “socialist,” it’s just code for “Stalin.” Continue reading

Donald Trump Raped My Brain

donaldThe GOP has a problem at the moment that has no easy solution. Actually, for my money, it’s the same problem they’ve had all along. “We’re now trying to grow the numbers of votes in the Hispanic, African-American communities and work on growing the amount of female voters.” What GOP strategist Ron Bonjean can’t say, is how Donald Trump could really make things worse for the GOP. According to David Payne, “He’s not hurting other candidates. He is risking the Republican brand.” Whoa — hold your giddy-up — full stop.

It’s difficult to “grow the numbers of votes” in the Latino community, when your party steadfastly refuses to sit down at the table and discuss comprehensive immigration reform. The GOP can’t do that, you see, because then they lose one of the boogeymen they use to scare up votes. If they didn’t have the border issue — how could former Governor Perry suggest that ISIS fighters are sneaking across the border to poison the well water — or steal goats — or whatever it was he thought those imaginary ISIS terrorists were going to do. Continue reading