Logic is Overrated

“It’s just, well as long as I’m an outlaw anyways… maybe I can do somethin’… maybe I can just find out somethin’, just scrounge around and maybe find out what it is that’s wrong and see if they ain’t somethin’ that can be done about it. I ain’t thought it out all clear, Ma.”

Words matter. Someone gave the president a masterfully intricate, hand-crafted collection of the best words available, all intended to promote a fallacy of relevance: argumentum ad baculum, or the “might makes right” fallacy. And just like that, Donald’s words shouldn’t matter — but they still do, because he’s POTUS.

Yes, it’s ironic that Donald Trump chose a “fallacy of relevance” to defend his failing presidency, but the consequences could be catastrophic. If you go look, you’ll see that pretty much every knife in Donald’s drawer is a fallacy of relevance, including the genetic fallacy, ad hominem, ad populum, or ad misericordiam (literally an “argument from pity”). Poor Donald. This job is HARD.

There is nothing new or particularly surprising here — conservatives have always responded to the “strict father” (do as I say) model of governance. ‘I don’t care if you love me or not, there are rules in my house. I’m sorry your brothers just opened up a six inch laceration across your scalp — it was an accident — now say you love them. We’re a family. Say it.’

Wait, what? You didn’t hear that? Well, the transcript is available for the media, pundits and others to discuss ad nauseum; I’ve done many a deep-dive into the language deployed to destabilize our democracy. But yeah — this speech was designed to put Charlottesville in the rear view mirror. ‘Families squabble. Get over it and get past it, because the men and women sitting in front of me might just lose a limb or their lives if you don’t.’ Seriously — it’s all there if you just look. Continue reading

GOP Failure Friday

So John McCain is the hero in our story again, right? Not so fast. If it took removing the tumor from his head to get him to say to his GOP colleagues, ‘gee fellas, the American people expect us to do our jobs here,’ then fine … tumors for everyone! YOU get a tumor — and YOU get a tumor! (Spare me … cancer has touched all our lives … I don’t need a lecture.)

I’m sure McConnell remains stumped. After staunching the Republican bloodletting at just 15 million newly uninsured Americans (their “skinny” option, because you can never be too rich or too thin), and getting that dramatic, last-minute phone call from the Drumpf Führer himself on the Senate floor — it was just another “very disappointing” FAILURE. Sad.

Meanwhile the new communications guy at the White House has been the source of his own leak, promised some kind of “night of the long knives” inside the West Wing, and swore a blue streak while talking to a reporter. His takeaway? ‘Don’t trust reporters.’ Really? Kiss my *, mooch.

Like that matters anyway. His boss doesn’t really hold anything back himself. I was reminded the other day of that scene from David Finch’s 1995 masterpiece “Se7en,” where Morgan Freeman describes finding a treasure trove of rambling, paranoid and often delusional ravings in John Doe’s notebooks, “placed on the shelves in no discernible order … just his mind poured out on paper [Twitter].” I’ll leave out the Mad King /Jaime Lannister reference until later in the season.

You’re welcome.

… also, Democrats don’t need “A Better Deal,” they need a better slogan. I humbly suggest “Impeach and Replace.”

Presidential Paybacks

Candidate Trump: ‘Make great deals for Medicare; stop big pharma from ripping us off.’

Trump Today: ‘My pals from Merck and Pfizer are at the White House today for some payback and millions of dollars in free media.’

That’s okay, it’s “Made in America” after all, where it’s still legal to price-gouge senior citizens and/or dying patients. These pharmaceutical parasites continue to keep us popping pills at prices considered obscene by every other industrialized nation on earth. We’re No. 1! We’re No. 1!

That new thingamahoozit they displayed at the people’s house is certainly innovative. Getting an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work is okay in my book, too (literally). But that’s only part of the Merck and Pfizer story, and a different tune than the one you were singing earlier. Those drug company stocks should show a healthy gain thanks to the Twitter ad you posted, POTUS. Quick question: is there an actual ledger of donations vs. Trump infomercials? A live stand-up has to cost more than a tweet, right? How do you balance the books?

You’re making bad deals and, as Commander-in-Chief, cravenly caving-in to Russian demands and running away isn’t what we’re used to from from our leaders. Your move neuters whatever meager defenses Syrian rebels have to withstand Russian-backed forces who are propping up a murderous dictator. Freedom? Sorry, America isn’t in that business anymore … we have new owners. Russia gets what Russia wants. Say, what’d you get out of the deal, Don? Bupkis. Nada. Zip. Just like the content of your character — a great big, fat, empty nothing. Continue reading

Body Language

I really don’t want to make this is a thing, since I’ve always known the revolution would not be televised, but this camera ban inside the White House press briefing room bothers me — a lot. Imagine if you will, Trump’s Howdy Doody, Sean Spicer, finally snaps. Now imagine him wandering out as Sarah Huckleberry Hound explains how the GOP Wealthcare plan will actually ADD 22 million people when Spicey drops trou and moons the room. Got it? No words, just cheeks.
 
Trust me, it’s not that I want to see Spicey’s meatballs, but in Trump’s America, it “didn’t happen,” or it’s “Fake News.” That is until the guy from Agence France-Presse reveals footage from his lapel camera he got through security.
 
What I want to see, are their faces as they tell these incredulous lies. I want to watch their body language, pick up on a twitch, or find their tell. How you sit, stand, sweat, fidget and gesture as you tell me something — tells me more than you’re comfortable revealing. It doesn’t take a trained investigator or psychologist to pick up on these things, either — even babies can tell.

Think about all the photos you’ve seen over the past eight years of President Obama interacting with kids at the White House. He always referred to it as his favorite part of the job — and it showed. On with the show, Donald.

I haven’t made much of a secret that my long hiatus from posting about politics was exceedingly selfish. It was all about me. I was the only thing that mattered. I am the center of my own universe. Okay, well that’s a load of manure, but it really was about my health. Stress can be a killer. Granted, I don’t have a medical degree, but I’m pretty sure I’m not wrong on that. Sleep deprivation is something else known to create a host of issues for our bodies, which most folks would swear could not possibly be related to lack of sleep.

Today I’m detoxed (… just back away from my tea w/raw honey or you’ll bring back a bloody stump), trim (… down four pant sizes and currently slimmer than I was in high school), with a resting pulse of 60 bpm or fewer. If something’s important to you, you’ll find a way to make it happen — no matter the cost. I chose to pull the plug on things in my life that were making me physically and mentally ill. I chose to live longer and be a bigger thorn in Trump’s side than I might have dared imagine I might ever be, back when I was tired, slovenly and irritable all the time. I made a choice. I’m pro-choice. Are you?

Boxed-in Whine

Get it straight, Mitch McConnell is so angry TrumpCare 2.0 is dead, the new “repeal only” or “repeal first” or “repeal now” plan raises the total number of uninsured Americans to an estimated 33 million — or what? — another 10 million citizens. You mad, bro? Clearly.

pet·u·lant
adjective (of a person or their manner) childishly sulky or bad-tempered.
“he was moody and petulant”

synonyms: peevish, bad-tempered, querulous, pettish, fretful, cross, irritable, sulky, snappish, crotchety, touchy, tetchy, testy, fractious, grumpy, disgruntled, crabby

Tell everyone you know, the Republican’s plan to take the handcuffs off the pickpockets in the industry who want to sell you junk policies and then hide behind forms in triplicate when you get ill — is alive and well.

TRUMPCARE: I’m not dead!
AMERICA: ‘Ere, he says he’s not dead.
McCONNELL: Yes he is.
TRUMPCARE: I’m not.
AMERICA: He isn’t.
McCONNELL: Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
TRUMPCARE: I’m getting better.
McCONNELL: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
AMERICA: Well, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.

(with apologies to Monty Python)

Random tweets.

“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.” — Mark Twain

 

Biblical Jesus® Hates Huckabee

Huckabee for President
PO Box 3357
Little Rock, AR 72203
@GovMikeHuckabee

Dear Governor/Moderator/Pastor Huckabee,

‘I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ Holy hand grenade of Antioch, Matthew — stop being such a killjoy. I think you’re onto something, Mike. Making criminals work off their debt instead of enjoying three hots and a cot? I keep seeing articles online which say you’re advocating “slavery,” which is nonsense. All you did was agree with Iowa radio host Jan Mickelson, of ‘Mickelson in the Morning,’ who paraphrased the Book of Exodus. “It says, if a person steals … if they don’t have anything, we’re supposed to take them down and sell them.”

Jan went on to say, “We indenture them and they have to spend their time not sitting on their stump in a jail cell, they’re supposed to be working off the debt. “Wouldn’t that be a better choice?” Naturally, Pastor Huckabee, you agreed with that nonsense, saying, “Well, it really would be. Sometimes the best way to deal with a nonviolent criminal behavior is what you just suggested.” Exactly — nonviolent criminals do not deserve compassion — or rehabilitation — or an examination of how a lack of economic opportunity might have contributed to their behavior. Let’s squeeze them for a few bucks.

So, I gotta ask, how much has Corrections Corporation of America (CCA) donated to the campaign? Seriously, pastor, if we’re going to consider modern day slavery, we really should consult the experts, right? In the past thirty years, prison populations have grown 500%, because this idea you’re promoting to the good folks in Iowa makes huge profits for the companies that also charge the taxpayers to house and feed those criminals. They’re double-dipping — getting a check from the state, and from the labor they induce on the inside. Win-win! Continue reading

Donald Trump Goes Biblical.

Here’s a quick primer to some of the things Donald Trump shared with the audience at the Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C., hosted by the Family Research Counsel. When the word salad begins to resemble a jungle, simply refer to this guide.

Donald Trump, American Statesman

“My Bible”

This is a prop, inscribed by his mother when Donald was just a child. Any Christian who believes Donald consults that particular book, has already forgotten that he couldn’t/refused to name a favorite passage. “Um, all of ’em, any of ’em that, um, have, have been in front of me over all these years.” Okay, I lied. That was Sarah Palin. Donald’s Bible makes three appearances during tonight’s performance.

“I went to great schools.”

Donald Trump is rich, and every financial analyst that’s checked assures us that he’d still be rich even if he’d never built a casino, or filed a claim in bankruptcy court. His claim that “it’s so easy” is fairly tone deaf in a country where the average school loan debt for college graduates is $30,000 and climbing. Continue reading

Wherein Mike Huckabee is Smote.

An Open Letter to Governor Mike Huckabee, from the Creator of the Universe, God “I am who He is” Almighty.

Son, have you lost what’s left of your itsy-bitsy, pea-pickin’ mind? I try to ignore most of what you kids say because, frankly, humans who claim to understand what the “Self-Existent One” thinks used to wind up in the laughing academy, not on the six o’clock news. Your appeal to pathos on Michael Medved’s radio program was floating around the cosmos, however, and I have to say I found it truly offensive.

Look, take it from Theos — nobody’s perfect. But when you claim “black people aren’t fully human,” in 2015, a trip to the sanitarium becomes more likely than one to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Before you accuse “The First and the Last” of taking your statement out of context, remember that I want to be a “very present help in trouble,” Mike, so please take this admonishment to heart. Continue reading