Wherein Mike Huckabee is Smote.

An Open Letter to Governor Mike Huckabee, from the Creator of the Universe, God “I am who He is” Almighty.

Son, have you lost what’s left of your itsy-bitsy, pea-pickin’ mind? I try to ignore most of what you kids say because, frankly, humans who claim to understand what the “Self-Existent One” thinks used to wind up in the laughing academy, not on the six o’clock news. Your appeal to pathos on Michael Medved’s radio program was floating around the cosmos, however, and I have to say I found it truly offensive.

Look, take it from Theos — nobody’s perfect. But when you claim “black people aren’t fully human,” in 2015, a trip to the sanitarium becomes more likely than one to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Before you accuse “The First and the Last” of taking your statement out of context, remember that I want to be a “very present help in trouble,” Mike, so please take this admonishment to heart. Continue reading

If Dick Cheney’s Lips Are Moving, He’s Lying.

I’ve written many times of my belief that the American experiment has drifted into a “post-truth period” of history. Today, easily verifiable facts are presented side-by-side with outrageous falsehoods, and few in the media blink an eye. When they do attempt to set the record straight, it’s often shrugged off by a distracted electorate as being ‘just more partisan bickering’ or political spin.

“There are two sides to every story,” your political nemesis will insist. Perhaps, but it depends on the story. What’s missing from their riveting political analysis, including claims that “both sides are the same,” or “everyone fudges a little bit” is this: there’s only one version of the truth. 2+2 still equals 4.

There are two hot button issues waiting for Congress when they return to Washington from recess. The “Iran Deal” and the Center for Medical Progress (CMP)’s defamatory smear campaign of Planned Parenthood (providing reproductive and sexual health care services to 2.7 million women and men at approximately 700 community health centers nationwide each year). CMP’s goal is to convince Congress to erase funding for Planned Parenthood clinics during the upcoming budget negotiations. Yes, TEA Partiers have already threatened to shut down the government over the issue. Continue reading

Everything Conservatives Know About the Iran Nuclear Treaty is Wrong.

Nuclear blast

Here’s everything you need to know about the nuclear non-proliferation treaty with Iran, negotiated by the US, UK, France, China, Russia and Germany (the P5+1): it’s getting past Congress no matter what. Here’s the rest of the story: Republicans will do everything in their power to embarrass our president (as they have since January 20, 2009), so you can also expect a motion of disapproval to pass the House and Senate when they get back to town early next month.

Here’s what you need to ignore: the tsunami of political attack-style ads that will saturate the airwaves in any state where your Senator or Representative has expressed taking a sober view of the pros and cons of this deal before casting their vote. These people will be called weak and enemies of peace — who are inviting disaster and hastening Armageddon. Except, of course — that’s completely bass ackwards. Continue reading

Governor Oops

Rick Perry

Congratulations, Governor Perry! I lost count of the number of times your lawyers tried to have those felony charges dismissed by the trial judge — but the appeals court finally came through. Here’s something odd: the Republican judges could have ponied up a get out of jail free card — but they did’t.

When the court voided the coercion charge on Friday, a potential ten years sentence went with it. But let’s be clear, your lead attorney can say to the press (and they dutifully reported) that the remaining abuse of official capacity charge is “just a misdemeanor,” but it’s not — it’s a felony, carrying a maximum sentence of 99 years in prison Good luck with that.

I’m not big into filing criminal charges for things politicians typically do to leverage power — but striking money from the state budget for those responsible for investigating political malfeasance? That’s just never going to play well for the cameras, gov. And it’s that part of the story has has the Republican judges running for cover.

Yes, District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg probably should have resigned. Not because she was caught driving drunk, though — to me the more egregious violation of the public trust was threatening the arresting officers. But even that isn’t what this is about.

You mooks have had it in for the Travis County DA’s office since they strung up former Congressman Tom DeLay for violating election law back in 2005. It seems Republicans are all about accountability, unless it’s a Republican that’s been called on the carpet.

What’s inconceivable to me, is that you’ve already spent $2 million on the best legal defense money can buy — while running a presidential campaign that can’t raise half that amount. I gotta say, Rick — your judgement here is, as usual, a bit suspect. Just don’t take a page out of Michele Bachmann’s playbook — unless you want the feebs looking at you sideways, too.

From the looks of things, you’re going to take a page from former House Speaker Delay’s, instead. As I recall, all the legal foot-dragging finally paid off for him in the end — and he got his conviction overturned. I’m sure you’ll wind up wasting millions of Texan’s tax dollars fighting this off.

Too bad you’ve only got a seat at the children’s table for the primary debates. The real money’s over on the main stage, if you’re going to have any hope at all of making up the shortfall in that legal defense fund.

Oops.

Stop, or the GOP Will Shoot

Uncle Sam

 

I have one hard and fast rule: if you have to lie to “win” an argument — you’ve already lost. Which is why I was glad to learn that the Senate voted down legislation designed to defund Planned Parenthood, based on bold-faced lies.

Nobody is “selling baby parts,” conservatives — just like every other major medical facility in the country, Planned Parenthood works with medical researchers who are searching for a cure to diseases like Parkinson’s, or Alzheimer’s.

Fun fact: The 1954 Nobel Prize in medicine was awarded to doctors Frederick C. Robbins, John Enders and Thomas Weller for their work with fetal tissue which led to the development of a vaccine against polio.

Sadly, Republicans learned a valuable lesson from James O’Keefe — if you tell only part of the story, you can cause irreparable harm to your political enemies. See, it didn’t matter if O’Keefe was later exposed for his deceptive video editing (or that he pleaded guilty in another case of a “sting” gone wrong) — lying works. Continue reading

Ku Klux Krazy

Klan Klash in South Carolina

“We will delete your history in America.” So says a passionate defender of the confederate battle flag in South Carolina, where thousands of protestors showed up today to shout down the Ku Klux Klan rally on the steps of the state capitol. No, violent, heavily tattooed and misinformed muttonhead — we’re not trying to “delete your history,” we’d just like you to understand it.

“The Confederate flag does not represent hate. A lot of Americans died for that flag.“ No, no, no — Ku Klux Kook — they most certainly were NOT Americans — at least at the time. They had abdicated the right to call themselves that as soon as they seceded from the United States. Yes, “Americans” died rallying around that flag — Confederate Americans.

We could talk for weeks on end about who it was that actually fought and died in the Civil War — that most of the conscripted troops weren’t even slave owners — or that just like most every other war in the history of mankind, this was just another case of poor men going off to bleed and die, trying to protect or acquire something rich men wanted. In this case: to own other human beings as property. State’s rights my Aunt Fanny. Continue reading

Nobody Should Be President For Life

Welcome to every right-wing conspiracy theorist’s favorite pastime: out of context theater. Buy your tickets now, load up the lie cannons and send in the memes, because “Obama Says ‘I Could Win’ 3rd Term as President!” Boom. And just like that, lazy lunkheads across the Internet start polishing their turds — warning ‘this was a Freudian slip,’ ‘martial law is coming’ as soon as he gets back from his mother country.

Except, of course, that headline ran in the New York Times this morning. The lazy lunkhead in the copy editor’s chair evidently thought leading with some out-of-context quote would intrigue readers (and sell papers), failing to acknowledge what everyone already knows: 90% of Americans ONLY read the headlines.  Continue reading

Pandering Paul and the GOP under attack

Rand Paul Panders

 

Evidently Rand’s campaign staff are even more delusional than the Kentucky hopeful — because I just read “Dr.” Senator Paul “is the single biggest threat to Hillary Clinton’s candidacy.” That’s Rand’s communications director reacting to the “news” that the Democratic National Committee “has unleashed relentless attacks on a handful of GOP candidates.” <facepalm> No, no, no … getting mentioned by the DNC for saying something stupid is not a metric for viability as a national candidate. It’s a metric for how often they stick their foot in their mouth. Continue reading

25 Rules of Disinformation

truth

 

I was going to do a quick repost the 25 rules of disinformation today — but decided it might be more useful with a fresh perspective. Why should House Select Committee on BENGHAZI! Chairman Gowdy have all the fun (trashing reputations with unfounded accusations and innuendo?).

Hey — ask yourself this: if the BILLIONS B.P. was just fined for polluting the Gulf was supposed to be a penalty — why did their stock just tick up five points? They’re celebrating, y’all.

The more you understand HOW these rules of disinformation are employed on a daily basis — the less likely you are to REACT when your idiot brother-in-law starts spouting off discredited or false information. RECOGNIZE that good people are often given bad information. Ignorance isn’t fatal (although often contagious). There’s a cure, too — it’s called education. Continue reading